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He don't be thinkin that earning the major league minimum is an embarrassment."He take his money from the club and went an embarrassed your dumb asses, all over that ballpark, last night."If you think you gonna roll in here, and roll over our bad selves, I think you made a poetic mistake, boys."Your poetry sucks, is what I'm telling you. You ain't got a good idea anywhere on your ugly, backward, child abusing, team."You don't hit too well, either. Your big boys swung like little girls all week, and then you got mad? Mad that a sixteen year old showed you what pressure pitching all about, right Holmes?"We ain't mad at you Saint Louis hicks. You too dumb to waste mad on. See? Our Royals did the onli-est thing they could do, which was kick you all the ways back to Hick Louis, and forget your sorry butts."That man could roll it off his tongue, nonstop and keep me laughing for hours.Their callers were almost as funny. One woman led off with, "I don't know what you all see in that Mark. .. confused..."She tensed up again. "Good!" she said. "Very good! Yes, it makessense you'd be confused! This all probably seems pretty new, huh?!"You bet your ass it seems new, I thought. "...Yyyyeah." How about your clarity? Can you think straight? Let's test yourimplicit memory. Recite the alphabet for me."Harmless enough. "A, B, C, D, E, F, G-" -Holy shit, you're doing it!!" she cried, then threw her arms up again."I am the greatest programmer east of the Mississippi!! Fuck yeah!!Woooooo!!" She threw her arms around me again. "Natsukooooo!! Ifinally have my robot back! No more random, pseudo-Japanese bullshitthat borders on racism! No more throwing my shit off the roof to see ifit'll fly! No more... non-stop... 96-hour," she scoured the top of herhead with her fingers, "Jingle Bell Rock karaoke marathons during theholidays I swear I would have had Leviathan throw your ass off the roofif you pulled that shit again!! Ooooohhh!!" She slumped to the flooron her knees..
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